Oh No! They Want to DATE?
by girl-who-flies-with-dragons
Summary: Modern AU. Jack and Hiccup's kids aren't so little anymore: Jamie's wondering how to ask someone out; Sophie wants to date, Hiccup wants to be reasonable, and Jack wants to scream. Collaboration with paigehawkins.


**A/N This is a joint post between besties girl-who-flies-with-dragons and paigehawkins; who wrote 'Jamie' and 'Sophie' respectively. We claim no ownership of any of these characters, we're just enjoying fangirling.**

 **Parental Dating Headaches**

 **Jack and Hiccup feat. Jamie**

 _Breathe Jamie_ , the slim figure in the hallway told himself for the hundredth time, _It's just a simple question, Dad and Daddy are really good about explaining things, it'll be fine._ Okay, realistically it would probably be a tad embarrassing—okay, he was ALREADY embarrassed just thinking about it—but he'd always come to his parents with questions of any size, and they'd always been easy to talk to; understanding, supportive. Plus, he knew they'd have better information than his peers, and he really didn't want to mess this up. Mind made up, Jamie emerged from the hallway.

"Dad? Daddy?" The two figures resting on the couch looked up to see their son standing at the entrance to the living room, fidgeting nervously. "What's up Jamie?" Jack asked gently as Hiccup nodded encouragingly.

The brown-haired youth took a breath, hoping with all his might that he wasn't blushing. "Um, what's the best way to ask someone out?" There was a moment of utter silence as Jamie held his breath, scrutinizing the surprised looks on his parents' faces in an attempt to gauge their reactions. A second later they both burst, and the teenager realized with mounting dread that his predictions somehow were _way_ off.

"WHAT!" Hiccup shot up off the couch, eyebrows raised and arms gesturing wildly. " _You want to ask someone out_? We didn't even know you _liked_ anyone, how long has this been going on for?"

"Good for you Jamie! How exciting!" Jack stood as well, positively beaming. "Boy or girl?"

"—wait, wait." His Dad looked like he was trying to calm himself down and be somewhat reasonable. "Have you two actually _done_ anything, or have you just been having a crush and now you want to find out if the other person feels the same?" Mouth hanging open, Jamie couldn't even begin to answer the barrage of questions as his white-haired father continued gushing and his freckled dad continued fretting.

"—oh, I'm so happy for you!" Jack grabbed his son up in a big hug, "You're asking someone out, this is great! It's going to be wonderful!"

"—and do we know this person? How old are they? They'd better _not_ be a senior, that's just asking for trouble; do we get to meet them or at least talk to their parents on the phone or something to make sure everything is okay?" Hiccup looked away from Jamie, whose eyes were starting to resemble saucers, and ran a hand through his hair agitatedly, muttering to himself. "I _knew_ we needed to start having the 'dating' and 'sex' conversations, I knew it, he's 14 now, it was only a matter of time…"

"—let me know what you're plans are, so I can make sure you have a ride and everything; be sure to open the doors and pay for them of course, and don't try anything more than holding hands or draping an arm around them on the first date, whatever you do don't talk about the weather unless you want them to die of boredom, and—"

"JACK," Hiccup looked at him incredulously, "The weather? Are you kidding me? You can't seriously already be on board with this; we don't know ANYTHING yet, we don't even know if it's a boy or a girl!"

Blue eyes rolled slightly, "Hiccup, don't worry, I'm just giving him some general advice, of course we'll find out everything before they go anywhere." Jack's expression softened as he walked over to the couch the aubrunet had slumped down on, and put an arm around him gently. "Everything's going to be fine."

Throughout the exchange the teen had just stood there blinking in shock, trying to process his dads' whirlwind of questions and also not die of embarrassment as he waited for the opportunity to get a word in. Clearing his throat, he answered what seemed to be Hiccup's most urgent question. "Uh, her name is Amber, she's in my history class so we're the same age—"

"Thank the gods," his Dad interrupted. "Hiccup," Jack chided him softly.

The engineer sighed. "I know, I know, I just thought we were going to have these kinds of conversations _before_ there was _actually_ someone, so this is all feeling rather sudden and overwhelming; I just have to get used to the idea, that's all." Looking up he gave his son a rueful smile, "I _am_ happy for you Jamie, and of course I hope she says yes and you two have a wonderful time, I've just never been in this position before." Jamie nodded his understanding, but a moment later his face paled as the aubrunet glanced at his husband, expression turning serious. "There are a few conversations we still need to have though, and since dating is imminent we might as well have them right now."

Jamie didn't even know how long he sat there in the living room being inducted into experiencing the most dreaded of all parental conversations. Of course he loved and trusted his dads, and all in all they were really nice about the whole thing; but like for every teen, getting the "sex talk" was still the epitome of awkwardness. Plus he couldn't decide if the fact that they were all guys made it better or worse. When it was finally over and he'd heard everything there could possibly be to know about condoms and orgasms and body language versus consent, the brown-haired teen chewed his lip for a moment, before looking back at his parents. "So, you never answered my question about how to actually ask someone out."

 **My Little Girl**

 **Jack x Hiccup feat. Sophie**

Jack sighed contently as he settled in for the evening. Hiccup was snuggled right by his side half-dozing off on the sofa. It'd been a hectic day with work and a last minute phone conversation with Jamie who'd gone on a weekend long camping trip with his friends. Jack was just relieved to have the peace and quiet. He frowned as he realized it was too quiet. Getting the feeling something was off he nudged Hiccup awake who greeted him with a grunt of annoyance. "Ugh Jack what is it?" "Something doesn't seem right, I got a bad feeling," Jack replied worriedly. Hiccup groaned, "I told you not to eat that second piece of pie. Thanks for the heads up I'll leave." Jack lightly smacked his arm, "not that you ding dong. I mean the house, it's too quiet." Hiccup shook his head, "Jack it's normal ok. The kids aren't little anymore, Jamie's away and Sophie's probably just doing her homework upstairs. Enjoy it." Jack bit his lip, "well maybe I mean, I guess it's been so long and…" He paused when he saw Sophie enter the living room.

"Hey Soph what's up," Jack asked. Sophie now 14 stood looking a bit nervous but also excited. "Um Daddy, Dad I have something I wanna ask you guys," Sophie said fidgeting a bit. "Well whatever it is go ahead you know you can ask us anything," Hiccup replied as Jack nodded. "Ok well um I'm 14 now and I was wondering is it ok if I start dating?" Hiccup and Jack went to respond at the same time:

"Yes."

"No."

Hiccup looked at Jack in shock while Jack gave Hiccup a look of disbelief. "Did you just say yes," Jack asked. "Yeah did you just say no," Hiccup replied. "Yes but you meant to say no too right," Jack countered. "No I thought you wanted to say yes," Hiccup retorted. "No," Jack said firmly, "oh this isn't good." "So is that a yes or a no," Sophie asked confused.

"Uh of course it's a yes," Hiccup answered. "Hold on since when do you make all the decisions," Jack interrupted, "thought we agreed she's not dating till she's 30." "Oh come on Jack she's 14 the same age Jamie was when he started dating," Hiccup argued. Jack really couldn't argue against that point but to him Sophie was still his little girl and the idea of her dating was ten times scarier than Jamie dating.

"Ok let's just calm down and talk about this for a second," Hiccup said calmly, "now Jack we agreed we'd never treat the kids differently unless the situation demanded it." "Good because this is the situation and I'm demanding it," Jack replied stubbornly. "Jack I think Sophie is old enough to start dating," Hiccup rationalized. "No she's not," Jack shot back. "Um can I ask something," Sophie interjected, "Dad did you start dating at my age?" Hiccup blushed a bit, "well no but I was a really awkward kid so I never had the courage to ask anyone out." Sophie turned to Jack, "Daddy?" Jack froze thinking for a second. "No your Dad didn't," Jack replied hastily looking a bit embarrassed. Hiccup raised an eyebrow, "Jack tell her the truth." "Hey this isn't about me," Jack said defensively. Jack scowled at his husband angry that Hiccup wasn't backing him up on this.

"He went on his first date at 13," Hiccup half-whispered but Jack heard him. Jack sat there pouting, he hated it when Hiccup called him out. Hiccup just shook his head making a mental note to spank the stubbornness out of Jack later. Turning back to his daughter Hiccup gave her a reassuring smile. "Of course you can start dating we just need to meet him or her first ok," Hiccup said hugging her. "Thanks Dad," Sophie replied happily. "Hold it I think we still got some things to talk about," Jack added. He stood and paced about. "Number one did you understand everything we talked about before about you know," Jack asked nervously. "Daddy come on I'm 14 I know all about periods, sperm, eggs and fallopian tubes…" "Am I gonna have to wash your mouth out with soap young lady," Jack interrupted freaking out. "Jack…" Hiccup warned but Jack ignored him.

"Number two, at least one of us is going to drive you on every date I don't want you alone in a car with this kid assuming they're old enough to drive," Jack continued, "number three your curfew is the same 10pm no later, number four we approve all your outfits before you leave, no short skirts, no cleavage and no words like 'juicy' or 'sexy' written anywhere and…" "Alright Jack that's enough," Hiccup intervened much to Sophie's relief. Thank God she had one sane parent. Jack frowned, "aren't you worried?" Hiccup sighed, "Jack you're getting a bit carried away. When has Sophie ever worn inappropriate clothing or stayed out past curfew?"

"Never," Jack admitted. "Ok now can you relax and whenever Sophie brings home someone she likes we'll be open-minded got it," Hiccup said reassuringly. Jack nodded, "ok but there are some conditions about the person you bring home." Hiccup rolled his eyes here we go again. "One they have to be in high school," Jack said, "two they have to have good grades nothing below a B, three they have to be a model citizen no detentions or suspensions being class president might help and they can't drink, do drugs, smoke or have a police record." Hiccup glared at Jack, unbelievable. Even he knew not all the good kids had perfect records, sneaky little devil. Sophie nodded, "ok that's fair. I'll tell Danny you wanna meet him now." "Wait what," Hiccup said stunned. "Yeah look Danny already asked me out but I told him I needed to talk to you guys first," Sophie explained, "he's waiting outside." While she finished texting him Jack and Hiccup had equal looks of shock.

"Did you know about this," Jack asked incredulously. "Of course not," Hiccup answered, "but remember we said we'd keep an open mind." They were interrupted by a sudden knock at the door and Jack raced to answer it before anyone else did. Jack opened the door seeing a young kid not even 16 standing there with a warm smile and bright eyes. He was a couple inches shorter than Jack but he had a bit of muscle. Oh hell no. "Hi I'm Danny," Danny said pleasantly, "pleasure to meet you sir." "Sorry but Sophie's been sent to an all-girl boarding school in Switzerland she said it was too soon and she's considering becoming a nun. Goodnight sir and drive safe," Jack said quickly before slamming the door in his face. "Daddy," Sophie cried angrily.

"Jack that's not what I meant, move," Hiccup said sternly pushing Jack gently aside and opening the door. Danny looked a bit confused but welcomed the second chance. "Come on in," Hiccup said politely gesturing for Danny to enter. Danny did so although he looked like he might run. "I'm Hamish, Sophie's dad and uh well you've already had the pleasure of meeting my be…other half Jack," Hiccup said shaking Danny's hand. Jack glared at Hiccup hearing the dig, normally he would've been called Hiccup's better half. Danny nodded, "it's a pleasure to meet both of you." Hiccup gave a curt nod to Jack who was still pouting but moved forward and shook Danny's hand a bit too tightly. Hiccup took notice and lightly pinched Jack's side to make him stop.

"Well uh go ahead and have a seat would you like something to drink," Hiccup offered. "Oh uh no thanks," Danny replied sitting on the couch next to Sophie. "So uh how'd you guys meet," Hiccup started. "We take the same photography class," Danny answered. "And how old are you," Jack asked. "15." "I see and how many girls have you dated," Jack pried. Sophie and Hiccup gave him equal looks of annoyance. "Only one we'd grown up together," Danny said. "Couldn't make it work huh?" "Jack," Hiccup growled. Danny shook his head, "well she moved to Toronto last summer and we knew long-distance wasn't realistic so we decided it was best to be friends."

"Uh huh and what kinda grades do you get," Jack continued. "I have a 3.9 grade point average," Danny answered proudly. "3.9 that's impressive," Hiccup commented. "Couldn't make it a 4.0 huh," Jack added. Hiccup nudged him in the ribcage. "Well it would've been but I'm struggling a bit in my honors calculus class so I've been working with a tutor to get my grade up," Danny replied. Jack tried again, "any extra-curriculars?" Danny shrugged, "just a couple I'm on the swim team and Vice President of the sophomore class." _Damn it._ There had to be something wrong with this kid there just had to be and Jack was gonna find it. "So bet with all those activities you're uh pulling a lot late nights, breaking curfew once in a while," Jack commented. "No actually I usually have to call it early since I walk my little brother and sister to school every morning," Danny said.

"You're parents make you do that," Jack asked frowning. Danny chuckled, "no I do it to give them a break, my dad works at the University as an associate professor and my mom has a lot of crazy shifts as a nurse so I get my siblings off to school in the morning and help them with their homework, sometimes cook dinner you know typical shared responsibility." _Damn it, damn it, damn it!_ Jack couldn't believe it this kid was checking every box he had and then some. Worse Hiccup looked really impressed and seemed to like the guy.

"Well your parents certainly are lucky to have you for a son," Hiccup said impressed, "where do you find the time to do all that?" Ooooh maybe this time he'd slip up. "I learned to prioritize it, I have a schedule up on my bedroom wall to keep track everything," Danny said. Jack was getting nowhere, had Sophie seriously found the perfect guy? He had one idea left. "So you ever try smoking, drugs," Jack asked, "I mean you can tell us we're not like regular parents we're cool parents." "Daddy." "No actually I started an anti-smoking and drug program at school to educate kids on the dangers of smoking and taking drugs," Danny replied. "Bet that's hard to get moving since you know kids don't like being told what to do," Jack said smirking. Hiccup jabbed him in the side. "Actually it's been going really well we've had guest speakers, events," Danny said happily, "a lot of kids quit or didn't try after our first few months."

Jack sighed in defeat there was no way there was anything wrong with this kid. As much as he hated to admit it Sophie had picked a good guy and unless he wanted her to resent him forever he had to learn to let go. "Well Danny you seem like a great kid," Hiccup said, "and I think I speak for Jack and myself when I say that we're good with you two dating." "Daddy," Sophie asked cautiously looking at Jack. Hiccup gave him a wary look hoping Jack would do what was right. Jack swallowed then nodded, "yeah Soph we approve." "Oh thanks you guys," Sophie squealed hugging her dads. "Well it was really nice to meet you guys but I have to go I promised my mom I wouldn't be out too late," Danny said shaking both their hands. "It was nice meeting you too," Hiccup replied. "Yeah it was and sorry about interrogating you," Jack added a bit embarrassed. "Don't worry about it my dad would've done the same thing," Danny replied. He then gave Sophie a hug telling her he'd see her in class tomorrow.

Sophie had the biggest smile on her face and both had to admit it was great to see her so happy. Sophie had been panicking the whole time, she knew at least one of her parents would freak out but was kinda surprised it had been Jack. Sophie turned to her dads, "thanks for being so cool, I knew you'd like him." With that Sophie ran upstairs giggling. "My little girl," Jack whispered. " _Our_ little girl," Hiccup corrected, "she's not so little anymore." Jack shook his head, "no she isn't," he paused as he thought of something, "I'm not in trouble am I?" Hiccup quirked an eyebrow, "well let's see you refused to let her date, slammed the door in her boyfriend's face, interrogated him with some of the worst questions possible so yeah I'd say you're in trouble, really big trouble." Jack thought a moment, "on a scale of one to ten." "300," Hiccup said flatly, "we'll deal with this after Sophie goes to bed." Jack pretended to be scared but he knew his "punishment" was gonna be one he would enjoy.


End file.
